15 Comments
User's avatar
Peter Mukherjee's avatar

Such a funny example. Love it! 🙂

We 'read between the lines' at our peril!

Ilham ✨'s avatar

Well-said, Peter! 🤭

Sue Reid's avatar

Telling your brain it’s ‘not a tiger’ is a great de escalation because as soon as you start to become aware of these thoughts, you are no longer attached to them.

The trouble with emails is the real message is often misunderstood. It’s much better to speak in person if you can. 💕

Ilham ✨'s avatar

I really treat email like dangerous little devices that should be handled with extra care. The way you write and the tone it's read in can be completely different and elicit surprising reactions.

Sue Reid's avatar

Absolutely. The very worst for me were the blanket emails that made the whole team think they had done something wrong. When you get annoyed (which I did all the time!), they’d say ‘We didn’t mean you.’ So why send it to me then!

Still annoys me now 😡😂

one patient’s pen's avatar

My most recent thing is silence.. or a delayed response. It gives space for my brain to freak out and second guess everything! Love the clear cut ‘not a tiger…’ and might start using that now!

Ilham ✨'s avatar

Silence is an underrated tool. You're right to use it in these cases!

Diana's avatar

Me and my emails in a nutshell 🤣 i do not use the same mantra though, mine is, it is just an email, We are not performing open heart surgeries here. It’s fine!!

Ilham ✨'s avatar

Good one! 🤭 It does the job just as well.

Sanaa's avatar

The title humbled me, lovely essay! ♥️

Ilham ✨'s avatar

Thank you, Sanaa!! 💕🙏🏻

Susan Shier | The Full You™'s avatar

This is a very smart reframe. Not a tiger is a great way to de-escalate the rush of feelings that come up...going to try this one!

Ilham ✨'s avatar

Thank you, Susan! I hope it helps you as much as it helps me 🤍

Cody Berry's avatar

Perhaps her memory is the problem, or she misunderstood your good listening skills as agreeing. That’s what I think of first.

Ilham ✨'s avatar

API - Assuming Positive Intention!! It's a beautiful way to handle this kind of situations. Bravo, Cody!