Justice Is a Myth. Disaster Is Inevitable. And Why That’s Actually Great News
Because expecting fairness is ruining your life.
Your life will dramatically improve once you realise these two things: Justice is a myth and disaster is unavoidable.
The purpose of this article isn’t to depress you. On the contrary, my aim is to bring you some excellent news.
It All Starts With A Beautiful Lie
I once came across a YouTube video from The School of Life called “None of us can escape catastrophe”. Naturally, my anxious mind couldn’t resist clicking. To my surprise, I found the video paradoxically comforting.
The video introduced me to a new concept I hadn’t heard about before: Life’s off-script events. The core idea is that we all grow up internalising a certain script about how life is supposed to unfold.
It might go something like this:
We’re born into a loving family.
We grow up, get an education and eventually find a fulfilling job.
One day, we meet someone, fall in love, and perhaps marry them.
At some point, we both want to start a family. After just a few tries, we get exciting news and soon enough, are blessed with a beautiful baby to nurture.
We remain with our partner our whole life, and raise healthy children who will one day follow a similar path to ours.
We go on to lead active lives for decades.
We lose our parents at an advanced age and, one day, when we’re very old too, we die a painless death surrounded by loved ones.
Sounds familiar? Of course it does. This is the script that society feeds us from an early age and I’m here to tell you that it is nothing but, as The School of Life puts it, a sentimental lie.
The reality is that no one gets out of their time on earth without experiencing at least one pivotal off-script event.
I personally like to call them “pigeon droppings”.
Here you are, randomly walking on the street and minding your own business when, out of nowhere, you feel something land on your hair;
something uncalled for, unwelcome and completely unexpected.
In recent years, I have witnessed in horror so many of my friends, colleagues, and family members go through their first cruel off-script events: a scary medical report, chronic illness, infertility, an interrupted pregnancy, divorce, and the premature loss of loved ones.
I’ve gone through a couple of these myself.
I know we’re all aware these things could happen to us. We see them in movies, we read about them in books, and we know people who go through them, but here’s the thing:
We don’t really think that they will inevitably happen to us too.
Emphasis on inevitably. We imagine a pigeon dropping could fall on our head at some point in our life, but we implicitly believe that there is a real chance that we might escape it.
We think about it in terms of “if” not “when”. And that’s a problem.
Sooner or later, when the time comes to face our off-script events, most of us will feel wronged and oppressed. We’ll look outward and notice all our friends and acquaintances who aren’t burdened by the same fate.
We’ll see all the pregnant women, the happy couples pushing a trolley, those walking down the streets with both their parents, or those who are allowed to eat delicious things our bodies no longer accept.
They will remind us of what we’ve lost.
“Why me? This isn’t fair,” we might think, a feeling of injustice slowly sinking in.
And that’s when the next idea comes really handy.
The Human Species Gets No Special Treatment
I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news but justice does not actually exist.
In a conversation with Adam Grant on the Rethinking podcast, renowned historian and bestselling author Yuval Noah Harari said:
“Our ideas of fairness are usually stories invented by humans, and the universe doesn't follow our stories, so most concepts of fairness and justice, they are just human imagination.”
This was a true aha moment for me.
Don’t get me wrong—I think justice is a crucial idea and something we should constantly strive for as a society. However, it’s important that we recognise it as what it is—just like phones, buildings, and coffee machines: a human invention.
When you think about it, there is simply no such thing as justice in the natural world.
The innocent gazelle gives birth to a calf only to witness it be eaten by a lion.
A beautiful oak tree quietly grows for centuries before lightning strikes one night, and the tree is split in half in an instant.
So, why should we humans feel entitled to a different treatment?
Wait… So, What’s The Good News Here?
I know this sounds crazy, but I think “Life is inherently unfair” is wonderful, liberating news for a few reasons:
It means that when disaster strikes, we don’t have to linger for a second in the “this isn’t fair” mental zone. We can directly move on to more helpful thoughts such as “this was expected and is an unescapable part of the experience of being human.”
Off-script events will bring their share of difficult emotions such as fear or loss. We can now avoid adding another layer of inner turmoil on top of it all.
While it’s valid to feel overwhelmed, dwelling in victimhood doesn’t help. It’s like rubbing salt on an open wound. It only makes it more painful and delays healing.
Life is short. Choose the fast lane to peace.
Until you walk right under a pigeon dropping, you can intentionally practice feeling deeply grateful for every day in which disaster doesn’t strike, savour it, and appreciate it for what it is: a true blessing.
Safe in the knowledge that disaster will eventually strike, we can now aim to truly live until then and decide to be happy.
In her book “The Happiness Project”, New York Times best-selling author Gretchen Rubin talks about how one of her main reasons for diving into a year-long happiness experiment was that when someday, the phone rang with bad news, she’d have no regrets for not having enjoyed her life when she could.
Make The Shift
In the days ahead, I want you to reflect on this and shift your mindset.
It’s not about being paralyzed by fear.
It’s about tapping into gratitude and cherishing disaster-free days.
Whether you are currently navigating a personal off-script event or worrying about an upcoming one, remember to recognize these events for what they truly are: only a natural part of the human experience.
If you’ve been lucky enough to have a disaster-free day, what’s one thing you’re grateful for today?
Share it with me in the comments, I’d love to know.
Thanks for sharing this Ilham - an incredible piece on shifting perspective and mindset. I love and appreciate your reflections on acceptance and gratitude, there's so much power in these practices! 💛🙏
This is a very beautifully written piece Ilham! Love the way you structured it.
And of course, the idea. Gotta remind yourself that it is not going to be fair a lot of the times.
I was playing officially rated Pickleball games today and when partnered with weaker players, it is easy to go into the negative victim mindset. Vs. just realizing that this is part of the game and the statistics.