I’m the Sky, Not the Storm: A Little Guide for Big Moods
“I Am Anxious” Can Hold You Back. Here’s Why:
As I’m writing these words, it’s raining outside.
It feels like the sky is sobbing. The clouds are heavy and grey, and thick drops are hammering against my window.
I could see some stubborn blue patches here and there, but within minutes, they disappeared.
Here in the Basque Country, this kind of weather is more the rule than the exception.
And today, it couldn’t be more fitting.
I want to share with you a simple idea I often return to when navigating strong inner storms.
The Mistake: Believing the Storm Is You
“I’m anxious.” “I’m lost.” “I’m lonely.” “I’m furious.”
Naming our emotions is a powerful first step towards regulating them and showing up in ways we can be proud of. Yet, we should be mindful of the language we use around them.
The issue with formulating emotions in terms of “I am [emotion]” is that it blurs the line between who we are and what we feel. It leaves no space between us and this temporary wave moving through us.
It’s almost as if we become our feelings.
We become the thunder, the heavy clouds or the pouring rain.
But we’re not.
We’re the sky.
And this shift makes all the difference.
Why You’re Bigger Than the Storm
Repeat after me: “I’m the Sky, Not the Storm.”
This reframe reminds us that:
Storms are always temporary, and so are our emotions.
The sky is able to hold all kinds of weather: strong winds and nice breezes, shiny sunlight and heavy clouds.
Better weather is always on the way.
Life is a patchwork of changing meteorological conditions.
More broadly: Seasons are a normal part of life.
This creates space between who we are and what we feel.
It allows us to adopt an observer posture.
You can’t observe the cloud if the cloud is you.
But if you’re the sky, you can step outside of the cloud and examine it: its shape, color and size. Then you can move to wondering what you can do about it.
You can choose more helpful and proactive thoughts rather than getting stuck in the discomfort for any longer than necessary.
You can also remind yourself that emotions are temporary and that better days are coming.
Over To You
When I’m navigating strong inner winds, I often find myself going back to this analogy and it always brings me comfort.
I formulate the thought: “I am the sky, not the weather.”
Then I wonder what the weather is like inside: Is it a quiet rainy day, a raging thunderstorm, or just depressingly grey?
Instead of “I’m anxious”, I switch to “I’m noticing that I’m feeling anxious.”
Dr. Susan David explains that starting the thought with “I’m noticing” reinforces our observer posture and creates a distance between us and our emotions.
Within this very distance, our intentionality and our critical mind come into play.
So, from now on, choose a different language when naming your emotions.
Remember, navigating bad weather is an expected part of life and small shifts can hold incredible power, especially when regularly practiced over time.
So the next time thunder rolls inside you, and everything turns grey and loud, see if you can remind yourself: This is the weather. I’m the sky.
This too shall pass.
Does this metaphor resonate with you? Share your version of “emotional weather” in the comments. And if you know someone going through a rough patch, forward this to them.
It might be just the reminder they need 🤍
A beautiful piece, I love using this analogy to remind myself of my true nature... thanks for sharing 💛
As always, thank you so much for being here.